November 22, 2003

Last night I was about to jump naked in a freezing lake for 20 dollars when Fraser forcefully dragged away from the water. Jumping into the lake would have been a wonderful climax to a simply astounding day: I felt as though I could fly for an entire day and night. Everything that happened yesterday lifted my spirits a bit higher until I was drunk with excitement and feeling good all over.

First, I got back the Chaucer essay I wrote and researched the night before. Since I haven’t read the books, I felt quite nervous handing it in: my entire essay was nothing more than a string of generalities. Thus, I was pleasantly surprised when my prof commented that the paper was “flawlessly” written even though it lacked critical insight. “It’s a shame to waste such good writing on unpersuasive generalities,” the prof concluded. I was slightly impressed that I was able to write a coherent paper the night before it was due without having done any of the requisite readings. And since I get the chance to rewrite this paper, things are certainly looking up.

More good news came my way later in the day from the Women’s Centre: they mentioned me in an official complain to the Dean of Students. I’m an administrator on the ClubLaurier forums, and there have been a couple of controversial issues discussed on the boards involving the Women’s Centre. The ClubLaurier forms are perhaps the only place in the school where free speech is allowed to reign in its rawest and most unadulterated form. Discussions can get very intense and comments are often offensive: that is the nature of free speech.

Unfortunately, the Women’s Centre doesn’t seem to share my vision of free and unadulterated speech, especially when this speech is directed towards them. They were up in arms when somebody wrote that “the Women’s Centre is a completely fucking useless organization that desperately tries to find any reason to start shit on campus to justify the fact that their organization exists.”

They complained that these statements attacked the “mandate of the Women’s Centre,” and that a certain moderator (me) participated in the offensive and vulgar lashing directed towards their beloved centre. For the record, I didn’t participate in the vulgarities — I only instigated the whole thing. And what is worse, I actually defended free speech on the boards, and this is why the Women’s Centre no longer likes me. And it made me happy on some level: being disliked by a group on campus is a right of passage at Laurier.

At the ClubLaurier get-together later in evening I read the complaint made against the forums, and what an offensive and vulgar bunch we’re all supposed to be. A lot of wonderful people showed up, and for an hour and a half we talked, laughed, and got to know each other. The gathering made me feel delirious, and the room was happily spinning by the time we were kicked out of the restaurant (I’m not sure whether the spinning was caused by the bottle of wine I consumed, or by the beautiful people in the room).

It all ended too soon, so we went to the Concourse to eat some muffins we found along the way as we decided what to do next. Some people went home to lonely apartments to feed their cats, while a bunch of us went to the park to harass the animals. I wanted to feed them the muffins I found, but I ended up throwing them at Fraser along the way (he was chasing me for some odd reason).

We had a delightful walk through the park, and having finished my bottle of wine I felt calm but also a bit crazy on the inside. That’s when we stopped by the side of the lake and I wanted to jump in.

Since I was restrained, we headed for Tim Horton’s (the only place still open at 9 PM on a Friday) and I bit people’s arms and did interesting things with the napkins on the table. Sometimes I have no inhibitions.

I got home late at night and fell asleep after pleasantly jerking off.