January 17, 2004

Laughing with a mouth full of marshmallows is painful, and last night I hated Jason for being too damn funny while I was struggling to control my body. Convulsing with laughter and drooling all over myself, I tried telling him to fuck off but my words sounded like orgasmic moans from somewhere deep in my throat.

I ran into Jason yesterday evening, and he bought me tea and took me to a movie night he organized for Laurier’s international students. I was behaving decently until somebody brought out the marshmallows. I politely asked for the bag, at which point Jason’s girl and I decided to shove as many marshmallows as we could into our mouths while everybody watched in disgust. Things got ridiculous when I realized that marshmallows are hard to chew while laughing.

There were still some marshmallows left in the bag, so Jason decided to beat my record. Feeling evil, we made him laugh and sqirm while he spilled out regurgitated marshmallows from the corners of his mouth. He couldn’t complain even if he wanted to, but in the end he managed to chew down twice as many marshmallows as I did.

I had a rather interesting discussion with Jason before we both got really silly at the movie night. Jason, who was once quite enthralled by blogs, stopped updating his online journal almost completely. “I was no longer comfortable disclosing things publicly,” he said. He felt the need to have some control over who read his thoughts, and in an open environment like the internet, that’s often hard to do.

He made me wonder about public disclosure, and whether brutal honesty is actually healthy. Do I really want people to know that I want to masturbate cats or play with darker images of myself? Should I open my skull so shamelessly?

In the end, I value my freedom to say everything much more than my privacy (i.e. my freedom not to say anything). I embrace an optimistic view of the bloggosphere and I’m titillated by all the unknown possibilities. Part of me is screaming, “Let’s have no more secrets and look into other’s naked souls.”

I just wish my views were somewhat compatible with reality.