March 05, 2004

Matt, the new vice-chair of the Board of Directors, is an enthusiastic young man who is working hard to keep social relations well lubricated. That’s why he’s eager to secretly meet with all the board members sometime tomorrow.

“Choose a time and a location and I’ll come see you,” he grinned. “We can meet anywhere you’d like,” he added, mumbling something about a surprise.

His invitation sounded deliciously illicit and it made me edge forward in my chair to grab the signup sheet.

Well, it looks as though the two of us will be meeting in the men’s washroom on the third floor of the Wood’s building. Now I only have to figure out the right etiquette for talking to someone in a public washroom.

“Make sure you’re facing the other way,” Wilbur said, showing me how he turns his head when someone’s pissing next to him.

But that would make talking difficult, I imagine — it might be easier to use the stalls. Maybe I can even drill a gloryhole in one of the partitions — Matt would certainly appreciate my initiative.

But will a gloryhole facilitate discourse? Or does the slight possibility that the other person might suddenly shove his cock into your mouth while you’re talking (close to the hole so he can hear you better) put a damper on the conversation?

I wish Miss Manners would offer some kind advice on washroom etiquette.