Eyes in my Nipples
March 17, 2004
My nipple developed a mind of its own, and now my existence revolves almost entirely around it. I have to wash it and take constant care of it. I write long articles about it in The Cord. If my nipple gets cold, it gets cranky and bleeds. And it won’t let me enjoy a night out with friends.
Tonight I was supposed to get plastered with Trevor and then pose naked for the Faflak project. But my nipple wouldn’t let me.
“I have to go somewhere where I can wash my nipples,” I told Trevor on the phone. “Looks like we’ll have to reschedule the nude photo-shoot.”
Nipples are tyrannical! If you let them, they’ll control everything you do and ruin your life. When I washed it this morning it gave me an instant hard-on. Unbearable! My nipple is even controlling my erections.
Soon it will start speaking and demanding a right to vote. My nipple will talk with other nipples and start unions to protect their fundamental rights to be licked and caressed.
If your nipple could speak, what would it say?
How about I stick a spike into your brain and see how you like it, you pretentious cunt!? I’ll teach you about the “pain of aesthetics.” You clearly have no idea how fucking painful this piercing is.Posted by Tudor at 01:00 AM in Various Positions | TrackBack
Nipples everywhere unite! Jump out of bras and shirts and be free!
That was a lovely and BackwardsGrown and lengthy article, Twodoor.
Posted by: Trevor on March 17, 2004 at 03:11 PMDude! I’m happy about the piercing and the hard ons, but since when did I stop being your friend? Suddenly being taken off a link list is one of the worst online insults!
Posted by: Shirley on March 17, 2004 at 10:11 PM:o(
Posted by: Shirley on March 17, 2004 at 10:11 PMI still love you Shirley! I just rotate the list every few days to highlight new stuff out there. But I do have to work out a better system that doesn’t come across as insulting.
I didn’t mean it as a disrespect, girl — I love yer blog.
Posted by: Tudor on March 17, 2004 at 10:35 PMThere we are, all fixity-fixed :). I still think that a rotating blogroll is a sweet idea, but I should make it obvious that’s what happening.
Sorry for the inconvenience everyone. Now we can go back and focus on our nipples.
Posted by: Tudor on March 17, 2004 at 11:07 PMWhoo, and there I-AM on-there!
Posted by: Trevor on March 17, 2004 at 11:28 PM