May 02, 2004

Because I wanted life to be one lovely accident after another, I never planned my future in any detail — things sort of happened. But today I drank two cups of coffee in the span of ten minutes while playing billiards, which gave me instantaneous visions of my future. I was too jittery to play well, so I aimlessly banged my balls around while figuring out out that my sole ambition once I finish university is to find a $15,000 per year job shovelling manure.

Since I don’t want to accumulate capital, $15,000 is enough to ensure I’ll live right on the poverty line, and my job, aside from being deeply poetical, should leave me enough time to hone my skills as a write of erotic stories. Eventually, I’ll transition from shovelling manure to actually selling it in the form of fine pornography. After an inevitable mental collapse (you can only write about sex for so long without having any), I’ll become a hermit and reduce my art to profane stickmen drawings on the walls of my cave.

I should play billiards while jittery on coffee every Sunday — I like the visions it plants in my head.