May 2004 Archives
Orange Hunchback
My Visionary Indian friend parked his new car out front, and smiling childishly came inside. “You room smells like ass,” he said grinning, and when I opened my window I saw his orange cat of a car on the street…Continue reading "Orange Hunchback"
Posted by Tudor on May 31, 2004 in Friends & Lovers
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Eat This Parsley
He didn’t know whether he should eat his parsley, so he asked Google, “Is parsley good to eat?” “It’s good to eat a thousand years,” Google answered in its infinite robot wisdom. “Especially with a bit of cock on the…Continue reading "Eat This Parsley"
Posted by Tudor on May 31, 2004 in Various Positions
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Tudor’s Faces
Every memory that needed to die somehow found its way into my drawers, including various photo IDs from the institutions I’ve visited.Continue reading "Tudor's Faces"
Posted by Tudor on May 30, 2004 in Ideas & Images
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Easy Rider
We felt too lazy to bike down to Elora, my friend and I. Our last trip there was hell — we toiled for hours in the hot sun and came home with warped tires and worn-out souls — and…Continue reading "Easy Rider"
Posted by Tudor on May 29, 2004 in Bike Rides
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Write About Orifices
I spent the afternoon naked on my bed rereading the Tropic of Cancer. Naked — that’s the only way to read Miller’s intoxicating words that make your cock jolt upright when you whisper them, words full of resonance like: Even…Continue reading "Write About Orifices"
Posted by Tudor on May 28, 2004 in Writing & the Media
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Eat These Nuts
For an entire month, my diet will consist entirely of nuts. I’ll shove handfuls of nuts in my pockets on July 15 and then jump on my bicycle and pedal 2000km around Ontario, going through Sarnia and Point Pelee and…Continue reading "Eat These Nuts"
Posted by Tudor on May 27, 2004 in Here & There
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All of my Loves
All of my loves returned into my life at once, bringing with them visions and wet dreams. My day was filled with Trevor who in a spasm of agony gave me a picture from Asia, my name in block…Continue reading "All of my Loves"
Posted by Tudor on May 26, 2004 in Friends & Lovers
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Flexibility
While showering I discovered that I can touch my toes without bending my knees. I was impressed because I was never flexible — even as a kid I had to cheat and slightly bend my knees to reach my toes….Continue reading "Flexibility"
Posted by Tudor on May 25, 2004 in Various Positions
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New Journalism
It’s all about experience. Two months ago when Katie asked me to write a piece about body art, I went out and pierced my left nipple. I didn’t need a piercing to write the article, but the result would…Continue reading "New Journalism"
Posted by Tudor on May 24, 2004 in Ideas & Images
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Purple
And after all that, somebody decided to paint the bathroom walls purple….Continue reading "Purple"
Posted by Tudor on May 23, 2004 in Various Positions
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Booktalk (Part 2)
These are the next 10 items in my 100 favourite books list: Like most of Herman Hesse’s books, Siddhartha is an intensely mystical journey from ignorance to tranquillity (and meaning). Siddhartha’s epiphanies (that we are all one and one is…Continue reading "Booktalk (Part 2)"
Posted by Tudor on May 22, 2004 in Writing & the Media
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Flashback
Six months have gone by in the blink of an eye. I started blogging in mid-November, since then I’ve been tirelessly gushing about my days, nights, and bodily fluids — some of my entries make even me cringe. The last…Continue reading "Flashback"
Posted by Tudor on May 21, 2004 in Ideas & Images
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24 Hours
Instead of sleeping I roamed the streets at night. Yesterday morning I got up and decided to spend 24 hours awake, documenting all of my movements and thoughts. I wanted to use my camera as a scalpel to slice…Continue reading "24 Hours"
Posted by Tudor on May 20, 2004 in Ideas & Images
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GMail
This morning I became desperate and started offering handjobs in exchange for a GMail account. GMail is Google’s promise to revolutionize the email industry, and I craved an account since April when the service was first announced. Because GMail is…Continue reading "GMail"
Posted by Tudor on May 19, 2004 in Technology
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WLUSP’s New Home
I stopped by the new Student’s Publications offices today to say hello to Craig and take some pictures — the place is cozy, smells of fresh paint, and the large windows let you see the trees blooming outside and…Continue reading "WLUSP's New Home"
Posted by Tudor on May 18, 2004 in Various Positions
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Evil Demon of Images
Images. Over 60 billion of them will be taken this year alone. Some will be staggering, others will be mediocre, but all will be evil. At least according to Baudrillard who called them murderers of the real. Images don’t…Continue reading "Evil Demon of Images"
Posted by Tudor on May 17, 2004 in Ideas & Images
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Redesign
Both my bike and I nearly fell apart by the time I returned from Cambridge late at night after the 60km roundtrip. My bike’s gears and breaks unexpectedly stopped working and this morning my legs weren’t feeling too good either….Continue reading "Redesign"
Posted by Tudor on May 16, 2004 in Technology
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MT Prices Cause Anger, Apathy
I live under a large, soundproof rock — that’s how I managed to completely miss the uproar over the new Movable Type licensing scheme until today. Since Thursday morning thousands of virulent, murderous blog entries have been posted, most of…Continue reading "MT Prices Cause Anger, Apathy"
Posted by Tudor on May 15, 2004 in Technology
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Stratford
I got on my bike yesterday after finishing breakfast and headed towards Stratford with a bellyful of ideas and $10 in my pockets. The trucks zooming by inches away from my elbow in the strong morning wind made me…Continue reading "Stratford"
Posted by Tudor on May 14, 2004 in Bike Rides
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Constipation
Regan is spilling words from every orifice, stringing them together into lovely sentences. And I’m jealous. My orifices have run dry except for the occasional shit and cum that dribbles out Tuesdays and Thursdays. I need words to properly colour…Continue reading "Constipation"
Posted by Tudor on May 12, 2004 in Writing & the Media
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My 100 Books List (Part 1)
Some books make even the hair on my legs stand on its end, others make my body convulse in quick bursts of pleasure, and once I cummed while reading random passages aloud. Because I have an intense relation with my…Continue reading "My 100 Books List (Part 1)"
Posted by Tudor on May 11, 2004 in Writing & the Media
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Shades of Yellow
“There’s a difference between having a personality and having a pathology,” I said, trying to convince myself that I’m sane.Continue reading "Shades of Yellow"
Posted by Tudor on May 09, 2004 in Friends & Lovers
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First Cambridge
Today I traced a finger on the map to see how I’m getting to Sarnia — I’m biking there in July to get cancer. This gives me two months to get both myself and my bike into shape by…Continue reading "First Cambridge"
Posted by Tudor on May 08, 2004 in Scenes from a Bike
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Caffeinated Brilliance
For three hours I sat by the window in Cafe 1842 drinking coffee from a large and oddly triangular cup and reading the Tropic of Cancer. The words and the aromas made my brain whirl with ideas and excitement….Continue reading "Caffeinated Brilliance"
Posted by Tudor on May 07, 2004 in Friends & Lovers
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How to Get Slandered (Repeatedly)
Brian is prowling through the hallways telling strangers that you’re mad. Again. And now you regret not giving him the beating he so richly deserved two months ago when he started this nonsense. He always suspected you were mad, and…Continue reading "How to Get Slandered (Repeatedly)"
Posted by Tudor on May 05, 2004 in How To
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Death of an Exhibitionist
Despite all the shouting and all the endless talks about transparency, the Students’ Union remains a profoundly secretive institution. Though I always believed that information wants to be free, that Truth should be shouted from rooftops, I find myself uncomfortably…Continue reading "Death of an Exhibitionist"
Posted by Tudor on May 04, 2004 in Politics
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How To Pee Your Pants
Because it feels so good to piss and your hands are frozen and shaking, you manage to splash warm urine all over your left leg.Continue reading "How To Pee Your Pants"
Posted by Tudor on May 03, 2004 in How To
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Purveyor of Fine Pornography
Because I wanted life to be one lovely accident after another, I never planned my future in any detail — things sort of happened. But today I drank two cups of coffee in the span of ten minutes while…Continue reading "Purveyor of Fine Pornography"
Posted by Tudor on May 02, 2004 in Ideas & Images
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May Day
I got out of bed this morning and quietly took over the campus media. After brushing my teeth I infiltrated the student government too. This May Day I officially assumed my dual role as Editor-in-Chief of ClubLaurier and student representative,…Continue reading "May Day"
Posted by Tudor on May 01, 2004 in Various Positions
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