October 06, 2004

No more foreplay! For two entire weeks ClubLaurier will offer penetrating insight into sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, telling you how to fuck yourself silly while listening to music in Waterloo. You’ll get advice on where to buy sex on King St. and how much your crack habit will cost this year. And because good research is important, I’m hoping to get at least a few firm hand-jobs before all this is over.

But I do need your help. One of my articles will focus on porn — I don’t care about the morality of the issue, but I do care about what turns you on. Tell me your intimate secrets: what do you like to watch? Maybe I’ll tell you mine.

And speaking turn-ons, I just found out that the mouthwatering penis scan I took back in February is leading in NobScan.com polls. You can now vote for my entry, “eat dick.”