Signs and Paint
October 14, 2004
The red smudges on my shirt and pants look like dried blood. I got them while painting a banner asking people to talk to me about their concerns; before the paint dried I wrapped myself in it while running through the halls. Luckily, the paint didn’t smudge — the letters were still crisp.
“Be concerned!” the sign read. “These are Tudor’s office hours for the WLUSU board of directors.” I thought the sign would foster democratic dialogue. It didn’t. Nobody seemed concerned.
I squatted in the concourse for three hours and only three people came to see me; I knew all of them, and none of them cared about democracy. Tina came by first with pictures of her bunnies (I once wanted to eat them).
“Why won’t people stop and chat?” I asked her.
“Maybe the ‘be concerned’ scares them,” she said.
“Nonsense,” I said, pointing out that my sign is wonderful and red. I told her that the ways of Tudor are the ways of the world.
Koloman came by next and for an hour we talked about love and standing. I told him that my mission is to wrap myself in a red banner and bring love to the world. I also said that it’s stupid to stand by your own words. He left confused but happy.
My sign also confused Shrish. “This is crazy,” she said.
I asked her if she was concerned.
“Only about your sanity.”
She’s not the only one. But it’s too late to stop now. Tomorrow I’m going back in the concourse with my sign, and I won’t leave until someone talks to me. So bring forth your concerns. We can talk about democracy and porn.
Posted by Tudor at 07:49 PM in PoliticsI’ll come talk to you! Simply because no one else will… Except I don’t really know what we’ll talk about. The only reason I’m even aware of issues on campus in the first place is because of your blog. That and I’m entirely unsatisfied with my campus clubs experience so far.
Posted by: Laura on October 14, 2004 at 09:01 PMhoney, they’ve all seen the wang on the plate.
The parsley has forever tainted your reputation.
Posted by: sra on October 14, 2004 at 10:42 PMI’m concerned that you like porn a little too much… and anything related to porn… and that every time I see you there is a reference to sex, nudity, your penis, someone elses’ penis, penises in general, more porn, more sex, more nudity, and orgies… I’m concerned that you’ve desensitized the Laurier community to sex and anything sexual
Posted by: . on October 15, 2004 at 01:37 AMHe also has a fascination with bodily fluids. Namely semen. Granted, some of his sexual references bring merit or add some sort of contribution to the story. At other times, Tudor just tries too damn hard to incorporate sex into the picture when it really has no relevance to the story at that time. I would point out specific examples, but I have the sudden urge to go masturbate right now. ;)
Posted by: Concerned_Student on October 15, 2004 at 08:55 PMNow and again people tell me, “Your writing is too goddamn sexual!”
And I reply: “Traditionally, the act of writing separates the writer from his own body. Writing is an abstract, congnitive activity that forces the author to abandon the body and to focus on ideas. I’m trying to insert the body back into the narrative, and you can’t talk about the body without talking about pleasure.”
More people should talk about cocks, semen, sex and orgies. Everyone should scan their genitals and post them on the web. Embrace the power of the written word!
And Sra, yes I too fear they all saw my wang on the plate. But perhaps it’s a good thing — we now have no more secrets holding us back.
Posted by: Tudor on October 15, 2004 at 11:36 PMOh but there are secrets, the real reason you put such sexual connotations and comments into your writing to start. It would probably interest quite a few people.
Posted by: sra on October 17, 2004 at 09:09 PMThe real reasons? You make it sound as though I’m dishonest about my lust …
What do you think are my real reasons? An explanation would interest me too :).
Posted by: Tudor on October 17, 2004 at 09:25 PMbaw chikka baw-baw (porno music)
Posted by: Visionary Indian Friend on October 17, 2004 at 09:41 PM