November 11, 2004

Wow! I feel like celebrating now that I’ve been blogging for a year. Orgies and offerings would be nice, but so far nobody volunteered to partake in either. Looks like I’ll have to settle for something different.

“What should I do?” I asked Jen. “There has to be some better way of celebrating this anniversary than just sticking a candle in my ass.”

Because she couldn’t think of anything either, and because I can’t find any sufficiently phallic candles, there will be no debauchery this year. Instead, after 300 posts and an endless stream of love and hate, I’ll share with you my blogging insight:

1. Most of this year’s 75,000 visitors were robots. Martha is not a robot.
2. Everything can be simplified to two dozen sentences.
3. Narratives have a way of fulfilling themselves.
4. Photos are pretty, especially if they show some ass.
5. Wear makeup in desperate acts of subversion.
6. Learn to cradle people in your arms.
7. Simplify and you’ll be read.
8. Write about love.
9. Go in the wilderness for a month. Take notes.
10. Write about hate.

Blogging gave me new ways to explore and reshape reality. It’s been a fun year, full of laughs and moments of self-doubt. I enjoyed writing scandalous things, and I thank you for reading, lurking, and offering comments. And next year I promise we shall celebrate with orgies, candles, and ass.

Until then, here are my favourite posts and images from the last 365 days: