Dead

January 03, 2005

And tonight we she killed the thing in a teary phone conversation. “I can’t be in a relationship right now, but I don’t want to lose you,” she said.

Fucking shit.

My mind reels and blood rushes painfully to my head. Somewhere meaning has broken down. I feel empty.

Posted by Tudor at 11:49 PM in Friends & Lovers | TrackBack

Comments

Ah. Oh. Um.

I’ll save wise words for another time, when you might want to hear them. For now… sorry. Those of us who have never met you still love you and want you to be happy, so hopefully you’ll get there again sometime - soon or not.

Posted by: the zero god on January 04, 2005 at 01:57 AM

There’s just nothing good to be said at this point to ease pain, especially from a stranger.
That said, the door is open if you need an understanding ear, Tudor.
I’m so very sorry :(

Posted by: Opal on January 04, 2005 at 09:10 AM

I’m sorry to hear that Tudor.

It’s rare that an enema will actually save someone. It usually just increases comfort related to fecal impaction. Sometimes there is so much shit, you gotta get your hand up there. It takes a long time to get out and it’s very uncomfortable. There are certain circumstances where the colon is never the same again.

It sends chills down my spine just thinking about it. Not good chills.

Posted by: Meghann on January 04, 2005 at 03:33 PM

I’m so sorry to hear…much agreement with above comments

Posted by: widow on January 04, 2005 at 05:07 PM

I’ve heard the words “I can’t be in a relationship right now” from someone I was sure I loved. And your mind starts trying to grasp onto any idea that maybe sometime it will work. And if it is meant to be, then I suppose it will. But words talking of future times when things work out don’t really cure the helplessness you feel right now. For that I am sorry. Buck up the best you can though, pillows and shoulders of friends are always good places to let your tears fall.

Posted by: lex on January 04, 2005 at 09:39 PM

greetings from virginia. buck up champ (you like that one?)

Posted by: the sava child on January 04, 2005 at 10:14 PM

LOL! canada just won the world juniors (hockey) 6-1 vs russia. that’s it, they’re the champs and they dominated this tournament MAJORLY!!! WOHOOOOOOO!

Posted by: Visionary Indian Friend on January 04, 2005 at 10:41 PM

And we shall have a crying feast, with wine and maybe naked people. We’ll burn photos and love letters and later wear the ashes.

And then we’ll run to Virginia and grind our teeth in the wilderness.

Posted by: Tudor on January 04, 2005 at 11:02 PM

Love is strange. I’m sorry that you are victim to its strangeness right now. Go and wallow for a bit, knowing that thing will get better eventually.

Bonfires that are fed with old loves’ things are silly, I think. Memories are important…the pain will eventually go away but it’s the memories that will stay.

Hugs.

Posted by: Shirley on January 05, 2005 at 11:01 AM

Ironically, it’s the letters that I have burned in the past in an attempt to purge someone existance from my life that have stayed with me the most. And years afterwards, I am still trying to piece them together.

Posted by: Jason on January 05, 2005 at 02:30 PM

I’m not trying to purge her existence. I’m just feeling wonderfully destructive and vengeful. Besides, I like to burn shit and writhe on the floor naked.

Must feed the Animal!

Posted by: Tudor on January 05, 2005 at 03:08 PM