February 04, 2005

At 6:30 AM the phone rang and Janet screeched in my ear, chasing my dreams away. She’s a monster of punctuality. I vaguely remembered promising her the night before that I’d be in Brantford for the election. I no longer wanted to go. But she told me to brush my teeth, and half an hour later I was riding away from Waterloo in the blue, cool morning, my head full of poetry.

At 8 o’clock Alysia and I arrived at the Carnegie Building to oversee the Brantford polling station. After the polls opened, Sue made us scrambled eggs in the dinning hall. Andrew, the B-dot HDRO, joined us for a quiet breakfast. Brantford was sleepy and homely in the morning.

Which was surprising, considering that the Waterloo campus is spastic on election day: campaigners twitch all over the goddamn place; supporters chant nonsense in the hallways; candidates hand out flyers and start insincere conversations. Everyone goes apeshit — you just want to go around slapping people.

I was expecting Brantford to be a madhouse too. But everyone, including Andrew, was laid-back and relaxed. While eating our eggs we joked around and chatted about cock. The whole campus has seen my naked body before.

“What’s with your obsession with nudity?” he asked.

“It’s not an obsession,” I said. “It’s a healthy interested.”

I simply loved the atmosphere in Brantford: people gave hugs and made small talk; candidates maintained their dignity and sense of humour; strangers welcomed me with food and smiles. B-dot is more creative, passionate, and open than the main campus. I felt at home as I shook hands with Heather who used my penis in one of her projects.

“Fuck Waterloo,” I thought half-way through the day, “I want to stay here.”

Even the counting of ballots (the most painful part of the day) went remarkably well, and I got to watch boys pee.

And at two in the morning, after the final recount, Alysia and I sealed up the ballot boxes and left all the beautiful Brantford people behind. Kevin sped like a maniac in the night and we got back on campus just after the results were announced. People were drenched in emotion and I was full of love. I grabbed people in my arms and spun with them in the room in mad embraces. “I want to be on the ground again,” Janet said. I caressed Jason’s head and kissed a cheek or two.

“Be good people,” I said, and I ran out into the night.