Physical Graffiti
March 28, 2005
My partner in crime and I snuck into 28 washrooms this afternoon in search of graffiti. Unfortunately, most of the stalls were scrubbed clean of profanities before Laurier Day, when thousands of perspective students invaded the campus. The university, paranoid about its image, eagerly dismantled public art causing the bathroom prophets to muse about the impermanence of discourse.
But despite the mass censorship, we still managed to find some tidbits of foul and wonderful poetry:
Terry Fox failed! (Boys, 2nd Arts — harsh, but true)The IMF taught me how to love a woman and how to scold a child. (Boys, 2nd DAWB — and I thought IMF only focused on monetary cooperation)
Taking a shit is relaxing.
It sometimes feels orgasmic!!
You guys are weird. (Boys, 2nd DAWB — prostates are awesome!)I just took the Browns to the superbowl. (Boys, 2nd DAWB)
Generation X: Overeducated, Underemployed, and fucked around by *censored* (Girls, 2nd Arts — Who? For God’s sake, tells us who fucks us around.)
Why don’t you drop out and get a job? I did. (Girls, 2nd Arts — and yet you persist to leave your mark in university washrooms)
Create, relate, break the cycle of hate. (Boys, Dinninghall — sweet, it rhymes!)
The impermanence of art and critical thought shines through yet again as the accumulation of a year’s worth of bathroom discourse is washed away, forcing us to start anew. I challenge all of you to be more insightful and expressive of your views, whether complementary or contradictory. — Bathroom Descartes (Boys, 2nd Arts — BD easily wins the verbosity award)
General observations:
- Girls’ washrooms are disappointingly devoid of graffiti or insight.
- The 2nd floor Arts has the most poetic stalls.
- The word fuck is severely underused (as are the words cunt and handjob) — Laurier has little bathroom humour.
- Some girls’ washrooms have plants and large windows (things not found in boys’ bathrooms) — maybe they’re compensating.
- Though the stalls in Aird lack graffiti, they are plastered with sublet ads — we always knew music students were fucked.
- Some girls don’t flush either.
- It’s going to be tough for anyone to top the Terry Fox comment (see above).
Next week Laura and I will explore the Business and Science washrooms and report back on our findings.
Posted by Tudor at 01:53 AM in Various Positions | TrackBackStrangely, I did this very thing at Laurier, except I wasn’t looking for the graffiti - I used it as a basis for a paper on advertizing and the various ways it is it geared to different genders.
As I recall, I only got a B-.
Oh, and in my day, the shitter with the best garffiti was the stall furthest from the door in the men’s room just outside of the theatre auditorium.
Posted by: martin on March 28, 2005 at 06:13 PMQuite obviously you missed the mystical gnome graffiti of the TA which tells me I can’t get a date because of something lurking near my bottom. There is some crazy shit in that washroom. You are on to something, Martin.
I think the rest of the university thinks there is some kind of untaped sublet resource in the music department. I would think most sublets within the music dept are handled internally. *knuckle crack*
Unfortunately, the TA bathrooms were locked on Easter Sunday when we were roaming around. We’ll get to the mystical graffiti on the next bathroom sweep — feel free to join us (three people jammed in a stall reading profanity always leads to giggles).
And yes, if I ever need a sublet I’ll just hang out in the Music bathrooms, which are the sublet Mecca by the look of things…
Posted by: Tudor on March 29, 2005 at 11:18 AMJust let me know when you’re going, and I’ll be there with bells on.
Well, maybe not bells…
I’ll wear something, OK?
:)
My camera! That’s it!