April 21, 2005

Girls are wonderful and distracting. I was still in my pyjamas, flipping through textbooks Tuesday morning, when Laura showed up — she had just finished her exams and was taking a break from killing spiders. I’ll only finish my exams on Saturday.

I figured I had time to kill, so I grabbed her hand and we went outside just as it started to rain. Huge drops licked our faces and we ran towards the fields, eager to take off our clothes and dance in the mud. I wanted to feel our bodies pelted by water, covered in earth and desire, swirling with the wind. But the rain stopped as quickly as it began. The clouds suddenly cleared.

“Fucking disappointing,” I said. “Next time it rains, get in your car and come find me. We’ll dance.” Instead of dancing, we walked through a scorched wilderness — they’re planting 250 houses in the fields near my house and right now the earth is dry and dying. We were alone in the middle of an urban desert, my hard-on pressed against her leg.

We ran back home to mash our genitals against each other, our crotches sticky and wet with tears. She was beautiful when we wrestled, fingers grazing ribs and buttocks. Everything was sublime and sweaty and we laughed, hands on bellies. We slowly crawled back into our clothes. I didn’t want her to go, but she said goodbye with the sun in her eyes. “You got to study,” she said.

And yesterday it rained all day. No more sun. Instead, cool drops gathered in pools, and thoughts of her danced through my head. I wanted her to come over so we could run naked in the fields and make love in the mud. But she never came, and I had to study.