August 06, 2005

Maybe because it’s our anniversary, I remember some of the strange arguments we had late into the night by the river.

“Aluminium is a superb material,” I said, apropos of nothing. “We should make hats out of it.”

“What did you say?”

“I said aluminium is pretty great.”

“Aluminium? What the hell is that?” You always make fun of the way I say things.

“Aluminium is a metallic element …” I began.

“Nobody calls it aluminium — that sounds retarded. It’s called aluminum.”

“Bullshit,” I said. “I know aluminium when I see it. Besides, you say all words wrong — you say ‘plymth’ instead of ‘ply mouth’, ‘pedomiter’ instead of ‘pedo meter.’” I sometimes make fun of the way you say things too.

“Nobody pronounces ‘plymouth’ as two words,” you said.

“Well, they fucking should! It’s like aluminium — you either say it right or you don’t say it at all.”

“There is no such word as aluminium. It’s aluminum.”

This went on for a while — three or four months to be exact. And today I pulled out a dictionary, which convinced me that there is indeed such a word as aluminium. Now I’m going to say it over and over again.

ALUMINIUM! ALUMINIUM! ALUMINIUM!