September 13, 2005

Two days ago I went to see Anna and Mike, who moved in together and immediately decided to paint the walls of their apartment in vibrant yellows and reds. “I couldn’t find any booze at this hour,” I told Anna, “so instead I brought you three intoxicating bags of nuts.” As a way of thanking me for the nuts, she told me about the way goats fuck in the park. Anna is great like that. The three of us giggled for a while …

… but seeing the two of them together and happy reminded me of how I am split between two lives: one of them know, safe, lonely in Waterloo, the other one a mystery waiting to unfold, there, in London. I want to quickly leap from one existence to the other, from this town that I’ve outgrown to Laura’s town … from these streets that I know to those streets I’ve just began to discover.

And I would leave tomorrow, except that my ears have itched insistently, painfully for three days. I suspect that a secret cabal of bacteria is trying to take control of every single crevice of my body. It’s hard to leap into a new life when your whole body is revolting against you.