September 29, 2005

I must’ve been slightly dazed after yesterday’s career fair when I made my way to one of the yellow school buses. A sign in the window claimed the bus was heading towards Laurier, and I believed it. Buses always lie. Instead of returning to Laurier, I ended up in Guelph, Ontario with two pears and 73 cents in my pockets.

I ate the pears even though they were rather mushy, and thought it was a great pity that nobody I knew lived in Guelph. Guelph is pretty. I considered buying a greyhound ticket for a while, but then I remembered that greyhound tickets cost significantly more that 73 cents. Hell, even a cup of coffee costs more than that.

The only thing I could do with my 73 cents was to shove them somewhere. Like a public phone, for instance. I picked one of those phones that came with a warning. “This phone is tapped,” some anarchist said, and I was glad because it increased the chances of someone getting me out of there.

After trying some numbers at random and getting no replies, I spend about half-and-hour explaining to my dad that I somehow ended up in the wrong city. He probably thought to himself, “My son is a moron,” but he came and picked me up anyways. I was rather glad because the days are getting shorted and colder and I didn’t feel like walking 40 km back home.

If I’m as good at finding jobs as I am at finding buses, I’ll become a poopsmith for sure.