September 2005 Archives
As Long As We Don’t Talk About It
For two weeks now Laurier has been a place of scandal and public outrage: First there was Weinberg’s article on how to get laid, which prompted dozens of girls to declare they’ll never sleep with him again. Then WLUSU confused…Continue reading "As Long As We Don't Talk About It"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 30, 2005 in Various Positions
| 8 comments
Poopsmith. Or Bus Driver.
I must’ve been slightly dazed after yesterday’s career fair when I made my way to one of the yellow school buses. A sign in the window claimed the bus was heading towards Laurier, and I believed it. Buses always lie….Continue reading "Poopsmith. Or Bus Driver."
Posted by Tudor on Sep 29, 2005 in Various Positions
| 6 comments
Out There Where The Wind Hollers
Before cities can sprawl, the land has to be made barren. And because Kitchener is constantly growing, one day in the early spring a dozen bulldozers showed up in the fields near my house. Within a few days they…Continue reading "Out There Where The Wind Hollers"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 28, 2005 in Here & There
| 7 comments
Exposing Ourselves
For the last seven months I’ve been planning to revive wluexposed.org, but I never found the time. Until tonight. After quite a bit of coding, coffee, and lamentation I finally managed to clobber together something that works. And now magic…Continue reading "Exposing Ourselves"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 27, 2005 in Technology
| 2 comments
Llamas Are Us
“So, what’s your next story about?” Laura asked. “Llamas,” I said. “I’m writing a story entirely about llamas: the way they look and feel and run about. You see, llamas are a counter-cultural force.” “Llamas?” “Yes! They spit with such…Continue reading "Llamas Are Us"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 26, 2005 in Writing & the Media
| 2 comments
Word. Street.
This year’s Word on the Street was stupidly dull — everybody was selling books as though the world was made entirely of words. Gone were the giant puppets we used to molest, the mimes we used to mock, and…Continue reading "Word. Street."
Posted by Tudor on Sep 25, 2005 in Various Positions
| 1 comment
Photoroam: Where Green Fields Are Drenched in Asphalt
Because it still doesn’t feel like autumn, Martin, Opal and I went to the place that was once called Columbia Lake. It should not longer be called that: someone drained the lake and covered most of the nearby hills…Continue reading "Photoroam: Where Green Fields Are Drenched in Asphalt"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 24, 2005 in Ideas & Images
| 3 comments
Tell Me About Poverty So I Can Cry On Your Shoulder
Last year I sneaked into the Segram building to hear Dr. Slaughter lecture on terrorism. I went there thinking her lecture would be as exciting as her name, but by the time she was done speaking I was more…Continue reading "Tell Me About Poverty So I Can Cry On Your Shoulder"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 23, 2005 in Ideas & Images
| 2 comments
A Story About Action
They said, “write a story about action.” And because I’m a guy, whenever I hear the word action I think of getting it on. After a few seconds, I also think of Conflict! Strife! Struggle! Consequently, I wrote a story…Continue reading "A Story About Action"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 22, 2005 in Writing & the Media
| 4 comments
Swinging Legs and Testicles
Long distance relationships are tricky: you can’t touch her hands or smell her hair, and you have to work extra hard to maintain intimacy. That’s why the other day I walked into the woods wearing nothing but a camera,…Continue reading "Swinging Legs and Testicles"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 21, 2005 in Various Positions
| 1 comment
Practice Every Day
After the passionate shudders, after the sighs whispered in lustful ears, our bodies unclasped and rolled back naked and sweaty to find their boundaries again. We held hands as we regained our breath and dreamed up new adventures. “When…Continue reading "Practice Every Day"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 20, 2005 in Friends & Lovers
| 3 comments
Banging Around
Our adventure came to an abrupt stop yesterday evening as Laura and I zigzagged through Conestoga Mall trying to find a shoe store. I was staring at a pack of greyhounds scavenging for human remains when I heard a loud…Continue reading "Banging Around"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 18, 2005 in Various Positions
| 6 comments
That Hat You Wore
That cowboy hat you wore last Tuesday, which you claim to have bought for $5 in a second-hand store, now has a narrative life of its own. This worries me. Soon it will take over your head and demand…Continue reading "That Hat You Wore"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 16, 2005 in Ideas & Images
| 3 comments
Find Me A Job Feeding Bears
Last night I saw Jeff for the first time since he went away to a strange place to get his Master’s. We headed towards a patio in search of beer, both of us talking at the same time about different…Continue reading "Find Me A Job Feeding Bears"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 15, 2005 in Various Positions
| Leave comment
Omniscience
Everybody is astounded this morning to discover that The Onion has not only correctly predicted the launch of Gillette’s five-blade, two strip razor, but every single other major historical event as well….Continue reading "Omniscience"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 15, 2005 in Various Positions
| 1 comment
What The Body Remembers
My skin remembers all those nights we touched. Your breath felt sweet and warm against my chest, and your tiny, pale body was glued to mine with a million drops of sweat. And now I’m suddenly restless and lonesome…Continue reading "What The Body Remembers"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 14, 2005 in Ideas & Images
| 2 comments
The Secret Cabal of Bacteria
Two days ago I went to see Anna and Mike, who moved in together and immediately decided to paint the walls of their apartment in vibrant yellows and reds. “I couldn’t find any booze at this hour,” I told Anna,…Continue reading "The Secret Cabal of Bacteria"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 13, 2005 in Here & There
| 4 comments
Photoroam: Kiwanis Park
Because it was a lazy Sunday morning and we had nothing better to do, we got in Martin’s shiny car and drove to the end of Kitchener to find the Kiwanis Park. “The place is abandoned and beautiful this…Continue reading "Photoroam: Kiwanis Park"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 12, 2005 in Ideas & Images
| 2 comments
Poetry Like Flapping of Wings
I expected the poetry reading to go on for hours, but almost as soon as I got there Dave grabbed the mike, spoke really slowly into it, and told us to go away. He then meticulously started packing wires…Continue reading "Poetry Like Flapping of Wings"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 11, 2005 in Various Positions
| 3 comments
When The Circus Came To Town
I wrote a story about monkeys. Because it still needs work, I’d appreciate your feedback, especially if your name is Dave Alexander (if your name is not Dave Alexander, you can always pretend). I first saw them, the boy and…Continue reading "When The Circus Came To Town"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 10, 2005 in Writing & the Media
| 5 comments
O That Shakespeherian Rag!
You’ve probably caught on that much of my blog, including its name, is some sort of perverse reference to T.S. Eliot’s Waste Land. Think of it as fan fiction. So then you can imagine how delighted I was to find…Continue reading "O That Shakespeherian Rag!"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 10, 2005 in Various Positions
| Leave comment
So … Did You Miss Me?
I knew something wasn’t right when I tried to access my blog the other day just to be smacked in the face by an “account suspended” notice. For a moment I panicked — I figured my webhost decided to…Continue reading "So ... Did You Miss Me?"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 09, 2005 in Various Positions
| 6 comments
A Collage From A Nearby Place
“London is pretty on a sunny day,” Erin said when she came by one afternoon to show us the city. We believed her because she makes awesome handbags in her spare time. She also grew up in London and…Continue reading "A Collage From A Nearby Place"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 09, 2005 in Here & There
| 5 comments
Back? Already?
Laura and I ran to the Greyhound station early this morning. It was a long run. The city was still covered in fog and our bodies were dripping sweat that tasted as sweet as the dew. When my bus came,…Continue reading "Back? Already?"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 07, 2005 in Here & There
| 4 comments
Incidents in London
For three days on Laura’s couch I’ve been trying to write meaningful, moving stories about monkeys … but I’ve been too wonderfully distracted. Consequently, all of my sentences are about anuses. Indeed, now that I look back on my notebook,…Continue reading "Incidents in London"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 05, 2005 in Writing & the Media
| 5 comments
Old People Can’t Jump
Laura assures me that in her neighbourhood geriatrics chase each other on their scooters on sidewalks. “They travel in packs,” she said. “And the mall next door seems to be some sort of goddamn geriatric mecca.” “That’s nothing,” I said….Continue reading "Old People Can't Jump"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 03, 2005 in Various Positions
| 2 comments
Gone
in london. with laura. naked. can’t write….Continue reading "Gone"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 02, 2005 in Various Positions
| 2 comments
It Wasn’t Supposed To Be This Way
I’m sick and my lungs are trying to escape through my face and I’m sweating uncomfortably and I have to finish a short story where nothing happens but all I can think about are hips. That’s right, hips. Tanned, muscular…Continue reading "It Wasn't Supposed To Be This Way"
Posted by Tudor on Sep 01, 2005 in Various Positions
| 1 comment