September 14, 2006

For the last three months I’ve been perfecting my ascetic aesthetic, but it was only yesterday at 5:30 in the afternoon that I realize how feeble I’ve grown over this time.

You see, I got roped into joining a soccer team. I haven’t played soccer since I was six. “But it will be great,” I thought. “I have great legs and I enjoy kicking things!” My enthusiasm held high yesterday at the start of our first practice game. I even gleefully pranced around the field, throwing my legs high in the air.

Half an hour later, there was sweat coming out of my eyeballs and my lungs were on fire. My feet too burned with the realization that soccer takes a lot more endurance than what I’ve got. By the end of the practice, I couldn’t do much but collapse ingloriously on the wet grass.

I haven’t regained much feeling in my legs since.