October 2006 Archives
Things To Do With Monster Hands
The pharmacy in New Hamburg had a huge sale on monster hands. Naturally, I walked out of there armed with several extra pairs of digits. And because monster hands are a source of power and evil, they came with…Continue reading "Things To Do With Monster Hands"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 29, 2006 in Various Positions
| 5 comments
Four Hour Escape From Cubicle Land
One morning in October, my company shooed me out of the corporate office. They wanted to make me appreciate my desk job more by showing me how common people sweat and labour on factory floors and cold, lifeless warehouses….Continue reading "Four Hour Escape From Cubicle Land"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 27, 2006 in Working Life
| Leave comment
Where Laura Enjoys a Communal, Scholarly Fuckfest
Laura graduated last Friday from her Master of Arts program. The ceremony itself was like every other graduation ceremony I’ve ever seen: it was joyless, full of self-congratulatory speeches and funny hats. The only redeeming part of the whole…Continue reading "Where Laura Enjoys a Communal, Scholarly Fuckfest"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 25, 2006 in Here & There
| 2 comments
Fuck It…
I broke down and bought curtains. I don’t want to destroy any more childhoods….Continue reading "Fuck It..."
Posted by Tudor on Oct 19, 2006 in Various Positions
| 2 comments
From Now On I Will Write Mainly About Bums
Evenings in the apartment are always an adventure. You see, we still don’t have any curtains but that doesn’t stop us from running around in our bare bums. I meant to get curtains weeks ago. Honest. But in the hassle…Continue reading "From Now On I Will Write Mainly About Bums"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 18, 2006 in Friends & Lovers
| 3 comments
How to Climb Mountains
On a brisk autumn morning, get into your car and drive to the foot of a nearby mountain. Like most mountains in the modern world, this one too should be domesticated: ski trails should snail their way towards the…Continue reading "How to Climb Mountains"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 14, 2006 in How To
| Leave comment
A Good Morning in Your Pants
Like on every other morning, today I rushed out of the house late for work. However, unlike on every other morning, today I managed to spill a whole cup of scorching coffee on my crotch. Instant awakefullness! And now, my…Continue reading "A Good Morning in Your Pants"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 12, 2006 in Various Positions
| 3 comments
This Adds Value To My Village
The Value Village in Guelph sells the greatest crap on earth. “Look! The pink flamingos are on sale,” I said. “And they’re dressed up in fedoras!” I chased her through the layers of mothballed clothes and kissed her. “Can…Continue reading "This Adds Value To My Village"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 10, 2006 in Various Positions
| 3 comments
I’m Living With A Water Creature
Last night in our white bathroom she summoned up bubbles and heat. I stood on the toilet peeing and watching her naked body squirm in hot liquid. Lovely, lovely bubbles everywhere. And boobs. I stripped off my pants and…Continue reading "I'm Living With A Water Creature"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 05, 2006 in Various Positions
| 2 comments
Weather Patterns Speed The Beating Of Our Hearts
As expected, Toronto media outlets went gaga over Nuit Blanche, which took place from dusk to dawn on Saturday. But for me, the experience was an uneasy mixture of pleasure and pain. For one thing, I got lost in…Continue reading "Weather Patterns Speed The Beating Of Our Hearts"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 03, 2006 in Friends & Lovers
| 2 comments
I Killed Piggy
By rubbing him all over my naked body. I blame Laura….Continue reading "I Killed Piggy"
Posted by Tudor on Oct 01, 2006 in Various Positions
| 6 comments