Scenes from a Bike Archives
eBook Love
So a few summers ago I tramped around the province on my bike, subsisting mainly on peanuts and other root vegetables. The experience was much like my current bout of unemployment — a never-ending delight. For your enjoyment and mine,…Continue reading "eBook Love"
Posted by Tudor on Mar 15, 2009
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Book of Adventures Ready For Sale
I just published my first book, and you should all buy it. Doing so will make you fantastically happy and get you laid, just like everything else you acquire. But seriously, it’s a good book. It’s called Scenes from…Continue reading "Book of Adventures Ready For Sale"
Posted by Tudor on Mar 03, 2006
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Flying Home on Day Twenty-Seven
I learned to see sunsets with my eyes closed and Martha’s lips on mine, and afterwards I learned the meaning of solitude and heartache.Continue reading "Flying Home on Day Twenty-Seven"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 21, 2004
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Long Ride Home on Day Twenty-Six
The following is a transcript of the notes I wrote on August 9th, the 26th day of my journey: On a trip like this everything seems to go wrong but end fantastically well. By the time I reached Tobermory…Continue reading "Long Ride Home on Day Twenty-Six"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 20, 2004
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Bruce Trail on Day Twenty-Five
They seemed to share an understanding of the horror they saw, and I was afraid they’ll attack me with their sticks as soon as they got over their shock.Continue reading "Bruce Trail on Day Twenty-Five"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 19, 2004
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Letter to Martha on Day Twenty-Four
The ride to nowhere will only take 15 minutes — enough time to orgasm repeatedly and savagely in someone’s arms on the jerky and exhilarating ride.Continue reading "Letter to Martha on Day Twenty-Four"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 18, 2004
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Tobermory on Day Twenty-Three
The following is a transcript of the notes I wrote on August 6th, the 23rd day of my journey: To wash dreams away and the pain of stones jammed in my back during the night, I ran naked over…Continue reading "Tobermory on Day Twenty-Three"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 17, 2004
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Owen Sound on Day Twenty-Two
The following is a transcript of the notes I wrote on August 5th, the 22nd day of my bike tour: The stars vanished beneath a layer of cloud by the time I awoke and headed towards Owen Sound, a…Continue reading "Owen Sound on Day Twenty-Two"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 16, 2004
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Gravestones on Day Twenty-One
The following is a transcript of the notes I wrote on August 4th, the 21st day of my bike tour: Alone, alone, all, all alone I drifted away from Collingwood leaving behind overwhelming days of bliss and excess. My…Continue reading "Gravestones on Day Twenty-One"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 15, 2004
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Alone on Day Twenty
We spent our last day on a hammock, swinging, falling, being photographed. Martha wore khakis and so did I, and by the time we realized we were an anti-commercial it was already 5:30 and the packed bags were waiting in…Continue reading "Alone on Day Twenty"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 14, 2004
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Devil’s Glen on Day Nineteen
The following is a transcript of notes made on August 2nd, the 19th day of my trek: And the 19th morning on the road was tender, overwhelming. Martha and I awoke to the smell of coffee and found everyone…Continue reading "Devil's Glen on Day Nineteen"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 13, 2004
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Martha on Day Eighteen
“I know your underwear need washing too,” he said, “but there’s no need to show your dimpled ass to your disciples in the morning.”Continue reading "Martha on Day Eighteen"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 12, 2004
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Live Update
After an incredible month biking around Ontario, I returned to Waterloo late yesterday evening and spent most of today recovering and sorting pictures. The journey was staggering: my days on the road were full of wonderful people and sights…Continue reading "Live Update"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 11, 2004
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Naked Swims on Day Seventeen
“I’ve pissed my pants too,” I said pointing proudly at my wet crotch.Continue reading "Naked Swims on Day Seventeen"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 11, 2004
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Collingwood on Day Sixteen
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 30, the 16th day of my bike ride: The morning brought skinny dipping in the pond near the cottage: the exuberant plunge in the cool, translucent water with a…Continue reading "Collingwood on Day Sixteen"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 10, 2004
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Hills on Day Fifteen
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 29, the 15th day of my bike ride: Water looks splendid in the morning. The pleasant ride along the lakeshore took me from Hamilton to Burlington, beguiling me into thinking…Continue reading "Hills on Day Fifteen"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 06, 2004
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Hamilton on Day Fourteen
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 28, the 14th day of my bike ride: Just as I grew tired of the rain (I’ve struggled against it for three days), the sky broke lose one last…Continue reading "Hamilton on Day Fourteen"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 05, 2004
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Beautiful Loser on Day Thirteen
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 27, the 13th day of my bike ride: I awoke in the middle of the ruined house to the sound of birds once more flying through the windows and…Continue reading "Beautiful Loser on Day Thirteen"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 04, 2004
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Sleeping Amongst Dreams on Day Twelve
The following is a transcript of notes I wrote on July 26, the 12th day of my trek: I awoke to the smell of rain and left Port Rowan late in the day after too much coffee. The weather…Continue reading "Sleeping Amongst Dreams on Day Twelve"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 03, 2004
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Sleep on Day Eleven
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 25, the 11th day of my trek: We had coffee for breakfast in Port Rowan; I love the little shops in small towns with their cheap and wonderful coffee…Continue reading "Sleep on Day Eleven"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 02, 2004
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Sounds of Darkness on Day Ten
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 24, the 10th day of my journey: The sounds raccoons make while they prowl and rape each other in the dark awakened all of my primordial fears. I spent…Continue reading "Sounds of Darkness on Day Ten"
Posted by Tudor on Aug 01, 2004
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Viciousness on Day Nine
For the first time in four days I was finally able to sit down in a blue porter potty and take a good shit.Continue reading "Viciousness on Day Nine"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 31, 2004
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Pleasure in Tents on Day Eight
And now for something totally different: Then the storm began, bringing thunder and lightening, and because my tent was pleasantly warm I decided to take off all of my clothes and masturbate to the sound of rain. For a while…Continue reading "Pleasure in Tents on Day Eight"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 30, 2004
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Naked Lunch on Day Eight
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 22, the 8th day of my trek: Fuck! Simon is not coming down tomorrow and I’ll have no way to fix the bike. I talked with him for one…Continue reading "Naked Lunch on Day Eight"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 29, 2004
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Freedom in the Park on the Seventh Day
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 21, the 7th day of my trek: People energize me. I was biking this morning with a broken gear cable I encountered another cyclist; he’s making his way from…Continue reading "Freedom in the Park on the Seventh Day"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 28, 2004
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The Collapse of the Purple Monster on Day Six
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 20, the sixth day of my trip: At 9 o’clock this morning the purple monster started falling apart on me. The beast served me faithfully despite all the kicks…Continue reading "The Collapse of the Purple Monster on Day Six"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 27, 2004
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Passing Chatham on Day Five
The following is a transcript of notes made on July 19, the fifth day of my tour: I left Alysia’s backyard later than I should have — Kat exhausted me the night before with stories about skinny-dipping and European…Continue reading "Passing Chatham on Day Five"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 26, 2004
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Creatures of Sarnia on Day Four
“Take my picture,” the girl next to me said, “I’m glamorous,” and she too plunged into the incredibly blue abyss.Continue reading "Creatures of Sarnia on Day Four"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 25, 2004
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Sedated in Sarnia on Day Three
The following is a transcript of notes made in Alysia’s backyard on July 17, the third day of my trip: It’s wonderful to wake up to the sight of waves after hearing them roar all night long in Alysia’s…Continue reading "Sedated in Sarnia on Day Three"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 24, 2004
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Our Boy Abroad
As I arrive home from the watery Peterborough area today, I seem to be flooded with concepts of Tudor. Cuddling my toes into the couch finds his tie hidden in the cushions, hands seeking house keys in a purse bring…Continue reading "Our Boy Abroad"
Posted by Martha on Jul 18, 2004
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Getting to Sarnia on Day Two
With our painted faces we continued to moan into the darkness.Continue reading "Getting to Sarnia on Day Two"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 18, 2004
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Surviving the First Day
The following is a transcript of the notes I made on July 15, the first day of my trek across Southern Ontario: 12 PM — Stratford warms me up and gives me coffee. I reached the city drenched to…Continue reading "Surviving the First Day"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 17, 2004
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How to Leave Martha
Hijack the family car and ride East for three hours to see the girl you missed tragically ever since she left you in the middle of a storm. After three hours of driving you’ll collapse in her arms and the…Continue reading "How to Leave Martha"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 17, 2004
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TUDOR COSTACHE: TYPE-RIGHTER?
Tudor, A. Costache. What is there to-know, what is there to-tell? Do I know what is-there, do I tell what is-there? Who knows. Let’s stick with a media-ted [note the lack of capitalization, this isn’t a 1990’s film about…Continue reading "TUDOR COSTACHE: TYPE-RIGHTER?"
Posted by Trevor Haldenby on Jul 16, 2004
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Travellin’ Light
My month-long journey across Southern Ontario starts tomorrow; tonight I finished packing several kinds of nuts into neatly labelled bags — they’ll be my main source of nutrition. Oh Martha, for you I’m abjuring my carnivorous ways and feeding…Continue reading "Travellin' Light"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 14, 2004
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Industrial Orgasm
“Next thing you know these kids will chop off each other’s testicles,” they seemed to say.Continue reading "Industrial Orgasm"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 12, 2004
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Last Trial
Because we were wet and nothing mattered, we took off our clothes and jumped in the currents that hugged our naked bodies and washed off our sweat and agony.Continue reading "Last Trial"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 05, 2004
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Ready for Leaving
After riding my bike through winter storms and spring rains, every component rusted and sagged. My chain nearly scraped the ground, gears refused to change, but somehow my purple monster carried me through Cambridge, Stratford, Scarborough, Toronto, Paris, and…Continue reading "Ready for Leaving"
Posted by Tudor on Jul 03, 2004
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First Cambridge
Today I traced a finger on the map to see how I’m getting to Sarnia — I’m biking there in July to get cancer. This gives me two months to get both myself and my bike into shape by…Continue reading "First Cambridge"
Posted by Tudor on May 08, 2004
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