Working Class Hero

I just got an email from a former coworker and realized that it’s been a bit over a year since I got laid off from my first real job. And what an awesome year it’s been. I remember mopping…
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Business trips = awesome

Do you know what I love about my job aside from being called a flagrant homo by high school kids? Going on road trips with puppies. This week Ryder and I ended up in the awesome metropolis of Peterborough….
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The Daily Grind - Not as Grinding Anymore

On Monday I started teaching my first course for a local non-profit group. I’m pretty excited about it — not only am I helping people figure out what they want to do when they grow up, but the students are…
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It feels like summer all over again

I spent the day in Waterloo contemplating relocation, job options. Met Jason for lunch. He fed me eggs. One of these days I may just move into his basement so he can feed me, clothe me, wash me, etc….
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Unemployment is the new awesome

I took off for the long weekend and ended up in Tobermory with the dog. The whole experience was delightfully liberating — trees, air, sunshine, naked cliff dives, dreams and terrors. The dog had a pretty good time too….
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A Lovely Day for Unemployment

The auto industry is doing awesome. So awesome, in fact, that the auto parts maker where I work decided to celebrate the latest industry successes by laying off half the IT department. My turn came late in the afternoon….
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Four Hour Escape From Cubicle Land

One morning in October, my company shooed me out of the corporate office. They wanted to make me appreciate my desk job more by showing me how common people sweat and labour on factory floors and cold, lifeless warehouses….
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Sweat Is An Involuntary Response

The air conditioning system at work decided to go on a holiday today, forcing me to spend most of my day sweating from my eyelids. To make things better, a nice lady came by earlier to give us popsicles. Instead…
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Hair

Work can be a hair-pulling experience. Luckily, that isn’t my hair….
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Lets Disturb Your Sitting Arrangements

Some emails come by unexpectedly on Monday mornings. “Pack your bags,” this Monday’s email said right in the subject line. “Oh shit,” I muttered, quietly blowing my nose on my sleeve, “I thought they liked me.” “That’s not it,” the…
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Some Sort Of Conditioning

Last night they asked me about work. I assured them that technical writing is tender and full of poetry. “In the last month I wrote nearly 1,000 words,” I said. “That works out to about six words per hour.” “Jesus!…
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Daily Activity Flowchart

Each of my days goes something like this: 6:30 am. Fall out of bed groggy and stumble around with shaky hands to make coffee. Shake things a lot. Wash teeth. 7:15 am. Put on a smile. Go write some manuals….
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Two Interrelated Facts

1) My new nickname at work is Vicky. 2) I have a fierce pimple on my ass….
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I Fart In Your General Drection

I work in a basement full of IT guys. Consequently, I learn new things every day, like the fact that system administrators fart voraciously. On each other. It all started yesterday. One of the guys in the office has a…
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Fruits of My Womb

Each morning I awake at ungodly hours to perform the following three exciting tasks: put on pants, boil eggs, and work on technical documentation. The job started on Monday, and since then they’ve kept me content by addicting me to…
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I’m A Writer, Baby

Almost a month after my startling interview in Guelph, I got an early-morning call informing me that I’m now a writer. And not just any kind of writer. A technical writer. My manuals shall be works of wonder and delight!…
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Quitter

This morning I got up and decided to quit my job so I can spend the rest of my days naked, making love to Laura. The plan worked wonderfully: at noon I wrote a staggering resignation later, and later in…
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The Secret Life of Cells

For a month now I’ve left slices of chicken decompose in my work’s freezer, creating something deadly and yummy at the same time….
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Choices

Tonight I had the wonderful choice of either going to my work’s Christmas party to dance with techies, or heading home to get into Laura’s pants while wearing her underwear on my head. I went home….
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Why Work Is Like Kindergarten: Reason #21

It’s not just the fish drawings. It’s also the shiny stars awarded at random. The other day Mr. Derange called. I made him feel “comfortable.” I swear I never showed him my penis….
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Fish. With Lipstick

Because work is supposed to be fun, our trainers passed around stacks of papers with fish outlines printed on them. “We’re going to play a colouring game,” they said. We went through the pile picking out all sorts of…
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The Mitten Bunny

Sometimes I come back from work flushed with excitement. “Laura! Laura! I learned something new today,” I said feeling knowledge rush through my veins like a strange liquid. “About modem lights?” She asked mildly amused. “No. About mitten bunnies,” I…
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